We landed up at a buffet lunch in a little town in the Sahyadris at the tail end of the monsoon. The spread was amazing for its creativity, with spellings. Looking at the stemed rice, I was happy that it wasn’t the lice that it sometimes becomes in China. Was the moousses a tiny bit … squeaky? The colslow disappeared off the board pretty quickly. And the pudding was a marbel.



The problem with English orthography was stated very cogently by an Australian educator, Mark O’Connor: “Spelling is a distinct problem to the native-born, who find that because neither sound nor analogy with other words is a reliable guide, thousands of spellings must in effect be memorized individually.” That would mean that learning to write in English is no easier than learning to write Mandarin. In most north Indian languages, on the other hand, orthography is fairly regular: one letter for one sound. So you are mostly right if you write what you hear. This leads many literate Indians to make the same assumption about English. All of the creative spellings you see in these photos seem to come from such a logic. Of all the attempts to reform English orthography, the only one that has caught on, especially due to spell-check programs, is that by Noah Webster. Clearly more is needed, because there are more sounds in the English language than the number of letters. Maybe English should be written out in the Devanagari script.